FRIDAY, SEPT 6, 2002

Where does the name Team Monkey come from and why did you start your Web site?
It's really a dumb story, actually. We were golfing one day and had monkey in the golf cart with us. As you can probably guess, we get a lot of weird stares when we're out in public. Anyway, Jeff made a joke about Monkey being our caddy and "Team Monkey" was born.

When I was picking out a domain name a few years back, I first tried to get monkey.com, .org, etc. and they were all taken. Teammonkey.com just sort of worked. And for the most part, it's been trouble-free. I did get some harassing emails about a year ago, from BMX kiddies who felt I was infringing on the name of their dirt bike club or something, but to hell with the little bastards.

Why a web site? Funny, but I wasn't really interested in the Internet until college. I was in the U of M computer lab one day and discovered I could find Scott Bakula pictures on yahoo.com. From that day on my Web interest was fueled. By the way I have seen every Quantum Leap episode that has ever aired. I am not making this up.

You're a cook, a wife, and a lover. Have you ever been a thief?
I remember going to the grocery store with my mom and stealing grapes. Not bunches at a time, mind you. I'd walk down the aisle, grab a few and cram them in my mouth. Grapes are good with a light film of pesticide, mmm.

I am since reformed, and only steal computer software now. And Papermate Gel Roller pens from the supply room at work.

Name two things you cook so damn goooooooood we'd wanna slap yo' mama.
I bake a damned good apple pie. It has a lattice crust and is soaked with a brown sugary butter mixture and baked until it's all caramelized. It's the kind of pie that's set on the table and gone by the end of the day. If I'm lucky, I'll get a piece before it's gone.

I also make a mean crab stuffed mushroom. It's a recipe that's just evolved over the years, from always losing the recipe I use the year before and being forced to compromise.

Have you considered taking your culinary passion to the next level? Say, at CIA or Johnson & Wales?
I would love to go to culinary school. I've always loved cooking, but I hate working in restaurants. However, in the past I've always had a job on the floor-waitressing, bussing, hostessing-but never a job in the kitchen. Every time I read a Michael Ruhlman book I get convinced that culinary school should be my next stop. I'd probably have to sell my first born child to afford the tuition, though.

The Booge calls you one of his closest friends. Why haven't you ever met in person, though he doesn't live that far from you?
Not too far? Ottawa's not exactly a Sunday drive, you know. It's funny, but yes, I consider Pat a very close friend though we've never met in the flesh. We've talked on the phone once, and sad to say all we chatted about was the weather, which I think is a Canadian thing. Someday we'll hook up, I'm sure.

My mistake. For some reason I thought it was Toronto, which would be considerably more reasonable. What do I know? In Boston everything past Worcester is considered the Midwest.

You speak fondly of Boston. Your husband's best friend lives here. What's to keep you from booking a moving truck tomorrow?
Though the idea of moving halfway across the country to a strange city is a romantic one, at this point it's just not feasible. I do feel the itch to live in another place, though. Jeff's already "been there, done that," so he doesn't really feel the same way, although he understands my desire to leave the familiar. Maybe it will happen one day. Why, you have any connections to get me a job?

Well, that's no good. I was going to ask you the same thing.

Guy Pierce offers you a ride in his time machine, and suddenly time and money become obsolete. Where will you take the Monkey next?
I'd go to Korea, back to the day I was born. Possibly get an understanding of where I come from, the details surrounding my eventual flight to the United States, which could send me into years of psychotherapy.

Your blog entries have a clear, sometimes sardonic, voice. Who or what influences your writing?
I was a devoted follower of Dave Barry when I was in high school. I don't read his columns much anymore but he has always been a favorite; I wanted so much to be able to write satire like he does. These days I am not doing nearly the serious writing I should be doing, so I'd say my lazy ass is influencing me the most. (My apologies to all the die-hard souls out there who really consider their weblogs serious writing.)

What fuels your continued writing after nearly 2 years of publishing?
Some days I have no idea. I think to myself, if I shut this Web site down it will save me $16.95 a month and maybe then I would channel my efforts into some serious work. But I'll probably always keep the site going in one capacity or another. I'm not A-List, I'm not even really B-list. But even if I only had one reader for the rest of my life, I'd still publish. It's definitely a vent for me.

Who are you reading, on-line and off?
I'm reading The Booge because he will send me flaming poop in the mail if I don't. Some Korean guy out in Boston, when he updates his site. Sweet Fancy Moses, Sarah Hepola, Rocketcat. Fellow Detroiter Davezilla. Scott Liles' journal entries are incredible, too.

Offline? I've been trying to finish the Tolkien trilogy since December. I'm reading Sarah Vowell's Take the Cannoli; I really love her style, and her love for The Godfather. And any book named after a delectable custard-filled pastry can't be half bad.

When no one's looking, what music are you shamelessly, and loudly, singing along to like the diva that you are (in the car, your apartment, in the shower)?
In the shower? Whitney Houston. Yes, really. When I'm home on a Friday night and I've had one too many cosmos? The Dixie Chicks, so I can practice my southern twang. In the car? I can do a mean Axl Rose impersonation; Jeff dreads it every time a GNR song comes on the radio.

Both you and husband are avid sports fans. I even suspect that he whispered a fist-cranking "SCORE!" to himself when you first started dating. Who influenced this passion for sports and taught you the rules of the game?
I'd say my father was the one who got me into sports. I started playing softball when I was about six. Playing catch with my dad and brother in the backyard, with the smell of my dad barbecuing burgers on the grill is a fond memory, a rare moment when he'd be home for dinner and have some time to spend with us. I've always loved sports for the competition, the camaraderie. But I think mostly because of the connection with my father, one I've only recently been able to fully appreciate.

Speaking of fathers, both he and my last boss told me that a "businessman" should know how to talk about sports, play golf, and drink. I think that's absurd. I also do none of those things. Does that make me a pussy?
Absolutely. Shit, I don't even know if I want to read your weblog any longer, now that I know we won't be getting trashed on the 19th hole if I move to Boston. Christ, Mike. Grow some testicles.

And there you have it, folks.